Triptych: The Metal Slime Ran Away

"Some Metal Slimes Draw Near" by Jordan Mello

"Slime" by Cosmic-Doodle

"Dragon Quest" by Zac Gorman

Guys! Did you know that I love Dragon Quest? Because I totally love Dragon Quest.

Real Things That You Can Totally Buy

"Dragon Quest Liquid Metal Slime Mug" (¥1,500\$19.31 USD) available from the Square Enix Shop

"Shirtness" ($25.00 USD) Fangamer's Ness t-shirt

"Phoenix Wright (Heat White) and Miles Edgeworth (Genius Red) Wine" (¥4,725\$60.85) available from Animate Online Shop

I want all the things!

Dragon Quest: The Bar

A Dragon Quest-themed restaurant called Luida's Bar has opened in Tokyo's Roppongi District. I'd have more to say but I'm busy booking a one-way flight to Japan as we speak.

(Yes. I plan to live there, in the restaurant itself, lurking under tables and gathering scraps of fallen food until I have enough material to craft a liquid metal sword. You heard me.)

This is simultaneously the greatest news I've heard all day, and the worst. The greatest, because clearly my daily prayers to the Goddess have not only been heard, but answered; the worst, because I promised to sacrifice my first-born child (as yet unconceived) for it to happen.