WASD, artist unknown (1680x945)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Pixified: More Gaming Wallpapers
Hot on the heels of my previous post on game-themed wallpapers, I’d like to formally welcome you to Round Two. Fight!
WASD, artist unknown (1680x945)
WASD, artist unknown (1680x945)
Retro Flashback: EmoGame
Back in the heady days of yesteryear, yesteryear here referring specifically to that wanton, innocent time spanning from 2002 to 2004, I recall discovering and taking perhaps an inordinate amount of glee in the free-to-play EmoGame series by developer StarvingEyes.
Essentially fan-service sidescrolling platformers with deliberately retro pixellated design, reminiscent of everything from Pitfall to Sonic the Hedgehog to cult PC classic Commander Keen, EmoGame and its sequels were particularly enjoyable and novel because not only were they clever and well-designed from a gaming perspective, but they were also predicated on a staunchly devoted and surprisingly well-informed knowledge of pop culture.
Although the final installment in the series was released in 2004, the EmoGame website is still up and all of the games still available, either as a download or for browser-based play.
NOTE: Every single one of the EmoGame games are NSFW and are highly offensive to pretty much anyone, ever. You have been warned.
EMOGAME 1
The debut features the likes of Chris Carabba of Dashboard Confessional, Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes, At The Drive-In's Cedric Bixler, and Tim Kasher of Cursive as playable characters, with guest appearances by (amongst others) Jimmy Eat World and A New Found Glory (not to mention less-than-glowing cameos by Creed, Courtney Love and Fred Durst.) While the humour, both here and in the sequels, leans at times towards the puerile, the game is packed with references, subtle in-jokes, and some pretty phenomenal level and puzzle design.
That, ultimately, is the point I want to get across here: given that EmoGame is a less-than-serious undertaking and takes regular pointed jabs at everything from Hot Topic to major-label commercial rock, it's impressive just how much talent went into making it.
EMOGAME 1.5: Alkaline Trio vs. Hell
Following on the original, EmoGame 1.5 is considerably shorter in length and focuses on Alkaline Trio rather than a revolving cast of playable characters. The story has something to do with the band dying, cutting a deal with God (who apparently is Bob Sagat) to get a second chance by killing the devil (who apparently is Skeletor,) and embarking on a journey through Hell to accomplish said goal. It makes about as much sense as any of the EmoGame plotlines, and is mainly just an excuse to toss in as many cute pixelly renderings of recognisable cultural icons as possible... In other words, if you haven't been sold on this yet, EmoGame 1.5 won't sway you, but if you played the first one and are totally stoked on the notion, it's as entertaining as the first.
EMOGAME 2: The Epic Quest Continues
A proper sequel to the original, with more than twice the number of playable characters, improved design both graphically and structurally, and more obscure shout-outs than you can shake a stick at. Conor Oberst and Matt Skiba return from EG1 and 1.5, respectively, along with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab For Cutie, Claudio Sanchez of Coheed and Cambria, Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley and "The Wizard", Blake Schwartzenbach of Jawbreaker\Jets To Brazil, and tons more. It has something to do with Enrique Iglesias kidnapping a bunch of people in order to have sex with them, and the cast of Friends starting a band in order to brainwash the masses into a cult, and... You know what, fuck it, I don't even know.
EMOGAME 2.5: The Anti-Bush Game
Let's be honest, games are not a medium well-known for tackling political issues - and when they do, they tend to be as neutral and message-free as possible to avoid alienating anyone. Foregoing the musical premise of the previous games, EmoGame 2.5 allows you to play, for some reason, as Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, and a fat-ass He-Man as they battle the evil villainy of the Bush Administration. While it's certainly no less offensive (and is unabashedly polarised in its stance,) the in-game political critique is nevertheless reasonably well-informed and sincere. It's not likely to convince anyone who might hold a differing opinion, but it remains an interesting and mostly-successful experiment in combining the disparate world of politics and videogames.
SUPER EMOGAME III
Sadly unlikely to ever be completed, Super EmoGame III never got past the demo stage (the demo, Purvolume vs. The Podicons, was available from the website for a while but looks to have gone the way of Internet purgatory.) There isn't a whole lot of information available on it, but from what I've been able to glean, it would have implemented some sort of fighting-game mechanic alongside the classic platformer engine. Unfortunately, it looks like we'll never know for sure.
StarvingEyes has now moved on to website and album design, and something they're calling "advergaming" - essentially, promotional minigames for bands, albums and media sites like Atom Films. It's a natural move for them - given their overtly fannish love of certain bands in the EmoGame series - and brings up a number of compelling questions on the nature of a medium which, while it likes to cultivate the impression that games stand on their own as consistently artistic ventures, has been commercial right from the start. I mean, with the emergence of product placement in the likes of Test Drive Unlimited and Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow, why not just openly craft games that are intended to market something right from the get-go?
EDIT: My mistake, I was under the impression that all of these were available to download for offline play when, in fact, at least the first (and possibly some of the others) are entirely Flash-based.
I don't want to irritate starvingeyes by offering up the following sneaky, ninja-like method for obtaining his Emogame series for offline play - so if this is completely uncool, starvingeyes, and there's an alternative in place, let me know and I'll announce it here.
Having said that, the Emogame site hasn't been updated in a couple of years and so I think this is probably justifiable.
1. Download emogame1.swf.
2. Download the free Swiff Player 1.5.
3. Install Swiff Player.
4. Rock out.
Alternately, you can head on over to File2HD.com, plunk in the URL of whatever Flash-based game you want to download, click on the "Objects" tickbox, and right-click and save the appropriate .SWF file that comes up. Again, you'll want to grab Swiff Player as well.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The Olympics and Games
I was in China (in Wenzhou, a city on the East Coast about halfway between Shanghai and Beijing with a population rivaling that of New York City) in 2008, during both the lead-up to and actual event of the 2008 Olympics. And, by pure coincidence, I returned to my hometown of Vancouver and am currently living through (read: tolerating, barely) the civic hype machine of the 2010 Winter Olympics. So you could say that, for better or worse, the Olympics have been an incidental part of my day-to-day life for the last two years at least.
Kotaku links to an article published in Macleans wherein it is proposed that videogaming be included in the Olympics. The argument goes that the line between real and virtual athletics has been blurred to the point where focusing exclusively on "real" events is outdated, irrelevant, and just plain not very cool.
While I appreciate the sentiment, I think this is a ludicrous idea for a number of reasons. First of all, NO ONE is going to be interested in watching a bunch of people play games on TV. I don't care how you gussy it up, it is just not interesting enough to compel the average person to sit through it when they could be playing videogames themselves. Secondly, despite the bent of the article, gaming and athletics are (I'm sorry to say) pretty much mutually exclusive. That's not to say there isn't a huge crossover between the two interests, but there are established venues for each and including gaming in the Olympics smacks of 'desperate marketing ploy'. You are, of course, more than welcome to disagree with me in the comments.
Having said ALL of that... I was deeply amused when I played Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Winter Games and saw that all the skylines were those of Vancouver.
Kotaku links to an article published in Macleans wherein it is proposed that videogaming be included in the Olympics. The argument goes that the line between real and virtual athletics has been blurred to the point where focusing exclusively on "real" events is outdated, irrelevant, and just plain not very cool.
While I appreciate the sentiment, I think this is a ludicrous idea for a number of reasons. First of all, NO ONE is going to be interested in watching a bunch of people play games on TV. I don't care how you gussy it up, it is just not interesting enough to compel the average person to sit through it when they could be playing videogames themselves. Secondly, despite the bent of the article, gaming and athletics are (I'm sorry to say) pretty much mutually exclusive. That's not to say there isn't a huge crossover between the two interests, but there are established venues for each and including gaming in the Olympics smacks of 'desperate marketing ploy'. You are, of course, more than welcome to disagree with me in the comments.
Having said ALL of that... I was deeply amused when I played Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Winter Games and saw that all the skylines were those of Vancouver.
Has there been either a Mario game or a Sonic game set in YOUR city? How about both of them at once? I thought not.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Lost: The Adventure
In honour of the fact that Season 6 of Lost starts in less than a week!
Silly Jack. You should know that you can't pick up fire, Hurley, or coconuts.
Actually, maybe you should try those coconuts again. Try throwing a can of Dharma peas at the tree. You'll need it when you meet that polar bear later.
(Penney Design has 8-bit movie-game mockups for Wall-E, The Dark Knight, and more right over here.)
Silly Jack. You should know that you can't pick up fire, Hurley, or coconuts.
Actually, maybe you should try those coconuts again. Try throwing a can of Dharma peas at the tree. You'll need it when you meet that polar bear later.
(Penney Design has 8-bit movie-game mockups for Wall-E, The Dark Knight, and more right over here.)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Dragon Quest: The Bar
A Dragon Quest-themed restaurant called Luida's Bar has opened in Tokyo's Roppongi District. I'd have more to say but I'm busy booking a one-way flight to Japan as we speak.
(Yes. I plan to live there, in the restaurant itself, lurking under tables and gathering scraps of fallen food until I have enough material to craft a liquid metal sword. You heard me.)
This is simultaneously the greatest news I've heard all day, and the worst. The greatest, because clearly my daily prayers to the Goddess have not only been heard, but answered; the worst, because I promised to sacrifice my first-born child (as yet unconceived) for it to happen.
(Yes. I plan to live there, in the restaurant itself, lurking under tables and gathering scraps of fallen food until I have enough material to craft a liquid metal sword. You heard me.)
This is simultaneously the greatest news I've heard all day, and the worst. The greatest, because clearly my daily prayers to the Goddess have not only been heard, but answered; the worst, because I promised to sacrifice my first-born child (as yet unconceived) for it to happen.
One-Line Wonders: B:AA, SH:H, Cogs, KH:358/2D
Today marks the debut of what I hope to be an ongoing column. One-Line Wonders is my attempt to cut back on my usual word-salad approach to blogging and review a handful of games in a single sentence (or equivalent.)
So without further ado, here are your One-Line Wonders for Tuesday, January 26th, 2010.
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PC, 360, PS3)
Graphics: 8/10
Sound: 8/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Design: 9/10
Batarangs: ∞
dB of vocalised alarm expressed upon the unanticipated appearance of Killer Croc when attempting to open an entirely mundane, though mercifully locked, door: 77
I never realised until THIS MOMENT just how utterly devoid of meaning my life was without the ability to hang upside down from a gargoyle, silently pick off an escaped convict, and then observe from afar as his cohorts discover him and absolutely lose their shit in unbridled terror.
One quickly learns that the goal of Batman: Arkham Asylum is not survival, but how best to screw with otherwise calm and collected individuals
Silent Hill: Homecoming (PC, 360, PS3)
Graphics: 6.5/10
Sound: 7.5/10
Gameplay: 5/10
Design: 7/10
Pyramid Heads: 1 (to date)
Duration between end of intro cinematic and start of gameplay to realise you are indescribably fucked: 10 seconds
It may be a rehash of every entry in the franchise to date, but if nothing else, Silent Hill: Homecoming has the dubious distinction of making me lose control of my bowels more quickly than any other game I've ever encountered (critical moment of bowel-loosening: Pyramid Head, in shadow, dismembering someone on the other side of a locked door before you've even managed to extricate yourself from they gurney you were strapped to during the intro.)
Silent Hill's legendary toilet stalls return in full force
Cogs (PC)
Graphics: 4/10
Sound: 5/10
Gameplay: 7.5/10
Design: 8/10
Steampunk appeal: 9.5/10
Severity of curse-word obscenity prompted by the first dozen puzzles: Impolite even within sea-faring company
Why is this game so hard, goddammit?
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days (DS)
Graphics: 8/10
Sound: 7/10
Gameplay: 8.5/10
Design: 7/10
Days that are actually playable: less than 358
Bars of sea-salt ice cream eaten by Roxas: 8 million
The foundation is there for this to be a watershed entry in the Kingdom Hearts series, but recycled music, enemies, characters, worlds and weapons, along with a bland and uninspired storyline, trite, tedious cutscenes, and the game's tendency to abruptly skip over weeks of unplayable days at a time makes it feel like a hugely wasted opportunity - and maybe just a phoned-in contractual obligation on Square Enix's part while they invested the bulk of their efforts into the far-superior Birth By Sleep.
Ah, the Rocky Expanse, from Disney's classic nature film The Suicidal World of Lemmings... My childhood nostalgia has been fulfilled
So without further ado, here are your One-Line Wonders for Tuesday, January 26th, 2010.
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PC, 360, PS3)
Graphics: 8/10
Sound: 8/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Design: 9/10
Batarangs: ∞
dB of vocalised alarm expressed upon the unanticipated appearance of Killer Croc when attempting to open an entirely mundane, though mercifully locked, door: 77
I never realised until THIS MOMENT just how utterly devoid of meaning my life was without the ability to hang upside down from a gargoyle, silently pick off an escaped convict, and then observe from afar as his cohorts discover him and absolutely lose their shit in unbridled terror.
One quickly learns that the goal of Batman: Arkham Asylum is not survival, but how best to screw with otherwise calm and collected individuals
Silent Hill: Homecoming (PC, 360, PS3)
Graphics: 6.5/10
Sound: 7.5/10
Gameplay: 5/10
Design: 7/10
Pyramid Heads: 1 (to date)
Duration between end of intro cinematic and start of gameplay to realise you are indescribably fucked: 10 seconds
It may be a rehash of every entry in the franchise to date, but if nothing else, Silent Hill: Homecoming has the dubious distinction of making me lose control of my bowels more quickly than any other game I've ever encountered (critical moment of bowel-loosening: Pyramid Head, in shadow, dismembering someone on the other side of a locked door before you've even managed to extricate yourself from they gurney you were strapped to during the intro.)
Silent Hill's legendary toilet stalls return in full force
Cogs (PC)
Graphics: 4/10
Sound: 5/10
Gameplay: 7.5/10
Design: 8/10
Steampunk appeal: 9.5/10
Severity of curse-word obscenity prompted by the first dozen puzzles: Impolite even within sea-faring company
Why is this game so hard, goddammit?
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days (DS)
Graphics: 8/10
Sound: 7/10
Gameplay: 8.5/10
Design: 7/10
Days that are actually playable: less than 358
Bars of sea-salt ice cream eaten by Roxas: 8 million
The foundation is there for this to be a watershed entry in the Kingdom Hearts series, but recycled music, enemies, characters, worlds and weapons, along with a bland and uninspired storyline, trite, tedious cutscenes, and the game's tendency to abruptly skip over weeks of unplayable days at a time makes it feel like a hugely wasted opportunity - and maybe just a phoned-in contractual obligation on Square Enix's part while they invested the bulk of their efforts into the far-superior Birth By Sleep.
Ah, the Rocky Expanse, from Disney's classic nature film The Suicidal World of Lemmings... My childhood nostalgia has been fulfilled
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Hitler's Revenge Contains Neither Adolf Hitler Nor Vendettas.
This is a perfect example of the kind of nonsense we as gamers had to put up with during the 8-bit NES era.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
First Person Tetris.
You should play First Person Tetris. Here are some glowing first impressions from people who have happened to stumble into the room while I've been playing it:
"No. That hurts my brain."
- Cait (my roommate)
"It satisfies some strange primal adaptive mechanism... That part of the brain that separates us from the reptiles..."
- Doctor Strange
[First Person Tetris: A Dizzying Take On The Classic Puzzler, via terminalgamer.com]
"No. That hurts my brain."
- Cait (my roommate)
"It satisfies some strange primal adaptive mechanism... That part of the brain that separates us from the reptiles..."
- Doctor Strange
[First Person Tetris: A Dizzying Take On The Classic Puzzler, via terminalgamer.com]
Excellent Advice.
8-Bit Conviction, by mycoldman.
mycoldman has some equally valuable advice pertaining to ExciteBike, Pacman, Duck Hunt and Tetris.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Pixified: Gaming Wallpapers
A handful of gaming-themed wallpapers, submitted for your approval. Click through or right-click and save for full-sized images.
Cute, cheerful, simple lines, and I like the background raster effect.
Alice In The Mushroom Kingdom, artist unknown (1366x768)
Wonderland = Mushroom Kingdom. It's so obvious. I can't believe I never saw it before.
Half-Life 2 Evolution, artist unknown (1920x1080)
Half-Life 2 may well be the greatest game ever made, but I'm still confused by the whole "Combine being aliens\mutants\hybrids\from the future\from a different dimension" thing. This clarifies it only slightly.
Rapture (Bioshock), artist unknown (1680x1050)
On a similar note... Bioshock had one of the most incredible opening sequences ever. I love the simplicity and Saul Bass-inspired graphics here.
Pip Boy (Fallout 3), artist unknown (1440x900)
I've been catching up on my PC gaming lately, and Fallout 3 has rapidly risen to the top of my current list. This image captures everything great about The Vault: the innocent, cheerful optimism of Pip-Boy scraped away by decades of grunge and grime.
If anyone knows the source of the unattributed images above, by all means let me know in the comments. I hate posting links to artwork without giving credit where it's due.
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